T.A.L.K.B.O.U.T

Archive for November, 2008

We learn so many things as we grow up. We learn how to walk, talk, and get away with not doing our homework. We learn how to play complicated games, many of them involving pretend money.

So, why is it so hard for us to learn how to manage money?

Why do so many people struggle to make ends meet, even on reasonably high incomes?

Why do so few people manage to provide sufficiently for themselves in retirement?

It?s not rocket science. We know what it takes. And there are some people doing it. So why isn?t basic money management as widely understood as basic geometry?

Imagine what life would be like if making money came as easily and naturally as riding a bike or tying your shoelaces. Imagine graduating high school with a permanent, secure, passive income already in place. You wake each the morning to find more money has appeared in your account overnight! If you want to travel, you do. If you want to paint, write, or do any other creative activity, you do. You choose your occupation based on what you love to do, not the burden of having to pay the bills. You have all the time you need to socialise with your family and friends, to stay in shape, and to practice your spirituality.

This world is not a pipe-dream. It?s not unrealistic. The world is alive with opportunity, more so now than ever before, and the opportunity is expanding exponentially.

With the right knowledge and attitudes, today?s kids can capture their share of that opportunity, and set themselves up for life.

So, why isn?t everyone doing it?

Because not everyone?s parents have the right knowledge and attitudes to pass along to their kids. Some of those who have the knowledge and attitudes are still setting themselves up in life, working long hours, and find it difficult to break the knowledge down into terms their kids can understand.

What can we do about it?

As parents, we need to be conscious that financial education ranks up there with education about nutrition, health, and communication. We must educate ourselves, so that we can educate our children.

There are many places to go on the web to get that vital financial education.

The Cash Smart Kids program (http://www.cash-smart-kids.com) provides lessons for the kids, plus additional reference material for their parents.

The Rich Dad website (http://www.richdad.com) is rich in content, and contains information about the Cashflow series of educational board games.

There are numerous e-Books, ezine articles, and offline financial publications with an online presence.

And, of course, there are dozens of relevant books in your local book store.

Most parents are trying to stay clear of the label “helicopter parents,” because they don’t want to be seen as the type of mother or father who hover and “overprotect.” The most powerful parents have realized that when their children have the opportunity to make mistakes, they gain an invaluable opportunity to learn from those mistakes.

It’s developmentally appropriate for children to become more and more independent, self reliant and responsible as they age. It can be challenging for parents to know when to step back and let their children try something on their own. After all, from the time their children were babies, parents have spent years meeting many to all of their child’s needs.

Striking a balance between allowing your children to do tasks for themselves and helping them when they seem to need or want is a talent of very powerful parents. This balance allows their children to thrive because they feel more confident in themselves while still feeling supported and properly mentored.

How can we instill self reliance and responsibility into our children?

(1) Allow your children to make some decisions: Even young children can make sound decisions if you give them a few select choices. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Would you like a peanut butter sandwich or a cheese sandwich? As children get older, you can allow them to make more important decisions with little to no guidance. They can determine things like which Fall sport they’d like to play, if they need a tutor for math, and which friends they’d like to spend time with each day without needing much, if any, input from parents. While it’s tempting to make these kinds of decisions for your older children, they need to stand on their own two feet?after all, their decisions are often correct!

(2) Encourage your children to try tasks on their own: While it’s often quicker and more skillfully done when we do it for them, children need to engage in tasks on their own if they’re ever going to learn how to do them well. Laundry, shoe-tying, and making the bed are great places to start with young children. Older children can handle more complicated tasks such as cooking, preparing their own lunch, and doing their own homework.

(3) Model responsibility and self reliance: Parents have many responsibilities?let your child see them and hear about them! Say out loud; “This screw seems a little loose, I’ll go get the screwdriver and tighten it” or “I have to plan our weekly menu for dinner; let’s see…Monday night we’ll have…” When children see you making decisions, taking initiative, and displaying self reliant behaviors, they will engage in similar behavior.

(4) Be your child’s coach rather than his sage: When your child asks you questions about how to do something or what to do in a certain situation, sometimes asking questions is more important than providing answers. “What do you think you should do? How would you feel if you chose X? What would happen if you did Y instead?” These questions can unlock the answers in your own child’s brain so the next time he’s in a similar situation he’ll be able to call on his own experience and judgment to make a decision.

(5) Be a good support system: Sometimes this means cheering them on from the sidelines and other times it means encouraging them to try again. Of course, when children truly need your help, they should know that they can count on you. If you teach them to ask for help when they really need it (when something seems unsafe or too challenging), they should know that you will be there to assist them. Children who know that they can count on their parents when they really need it feel better about taking risks and the possibility of making mistakes.

(6) Provide them with responsibilities: Chores are great for teaching children how to be self reliant as well as how to work as a team. After teaching them how to do the chore properly, let them give it a try with some assistance, if needed. You can even work on a checklist together which helps to break down the task into easy, age-appropriate chunks. For example, (a) Take the clothes out of the dryer, (b) Separate the clothes by family member, (c) Match up all the socks…and so on. When we provide children with ways to help out the family, we give them opportunities to build responsibility, self confidence, and self reliance.

(7) Encourage healthy risk-taking: Assure your children that making mistakes is OK. The most important thing is that s/he tries! Most things are not done perfectly the first time?even when you’re an adult. It doesn’t mean “the end of the world” and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Watching our children make mistakes can be challenging. We may want to rush to their aid to shield them from impending failure or disappointment. However, when parents do this, they rob their children of some very powerful tools; self confidence, stick-to-itiveness, and of course, self reliance.

Your children are relying on you to teach them how to approach the world. Sometimes that means they have to watch you to learn how to approach the task. But other times that means, you must watch them from the sidelines and encourage them to figure it out on their own.

Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.

How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:

Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.

It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.

It isn’t about maybe this or maybe that.

Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner’s help in this.

“We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes”, is clear and direct. Follow this with,

“Please help me tidy up your toys now” and it means just that.

Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn’t mean soon, or later, but now.

I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine. What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?

How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:

Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.

Clarify for your self what being firm means.

To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm.

It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It’s about now being now. How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.

Resolve within yourself and with your partner’s help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself.

It is every child’s right to KNOW they can trust their parent’s boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline.

“It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes” is a clear direction. Now follow through on this.

Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.

How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:

Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach.

Clarify for yourself what being consistent means.

To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant.

These words immediately convey comfort don’t they?

Let’s look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That’s definitely lacking in comfort and safety.

So how do you want to be seen by your children?

To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.

Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves.

The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning.

This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.

Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones?

Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.

This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.

Great post by :

Helen Williams
Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com

http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com

The term pizza covers a lot of territory. If you want to learn all about pizzas, then you should have a bit of a background on pizzas: specifically the history of pizza, pizza origin, pizza facts, and even pizza trivia such as who invented pizza. The subject also delves into the different types and styles of pizzas. The varieties currently existing defy any attempts at enumeration. Thus, most people who attempt such a task stop at a broad categorization of pizza types according to certain attributes such as crust thickness, crust elasticity, crust baking and cooking procedures, toppings, etc. Aside from general, historical or trivial information, other things are of interest to the pizza lovers. For instance, homemade pizza enthusiasts would like to know certain tips and tricks for making pizza. This includes pizza making techniques, the best pizza crust recipes, pizza toppings, homemade pizza sauce, etc. Some other interesting topics will be frozen pizza dough and where best to attain them, what are the criteria for choosing the, what are the methods for preparing them, etc.

It must be obvious that this article is a mite ambitious for wishing to tackle something entitled “all about pizza.” However, an attempt is definitely warranted, so here goes.

Some pizza facts and trivia

Accounts of pizza history always begin with the origin of pizza. This one might as well follow the same tack. We have to thank any civilization or race that baked flat bread on hot stones or stone ovens for pizza, for almost certainly, bread like the focaccia was the “mother of the pizza crust.” However, the invention of the pizza is more properly attributed to the Neapolitans – the people of Naples, Italy who were baking and making pizza crust topped with tomatoes, oil, and Italian herbs, and spices. This rudimentary and traditional Italian pizza was common peasant fare in Naples. If you want an individual originator and inventor of pizzas, however, then you won’t be wrong if you cite Rafaelle Esposito – a native of Naples; he modified the basic Neapolitan pizza recipe and came up with three variants that added mozzarella cheese to the rudimentary Italian pizza toppings.

Now, if you are looking for some topics for small conversation, then you must remember the following trivia. One note of caution, though; you shouldn’t blurt these out just to anybody or you’ll sound decidedly corny and geeky. Make sure you’re talking to someone interested in pizzas before you use the following trivia as conversational gambits.

” Most people in the United States love pepperoni; the least liked toppings are anchovies.

” Pizza was called (and is still called) tomato pie and pizza pie in certain parts of the States.

” The first pizzeria in the United States was opened in New York.

” The pizza industry is worth more than 30 billion dollars in the United States alone and Americans consume around three billion units of pizza every year.

” New York pizza is traditionally plain. Supposedly, New York pizza is unique because of the acidity and hardness of the water in New York. New Yorkers therefore claim that only in New York can you make real New York Pizza.

(New Yorkers must admit, however, that if water is the unique characteristic of New York pizzas, one who uses water adjusted for hardness and acidity to reflect New York water conditions, adds all the usual New York pizza ingredients and toppings, follows all the procedures strictly but makes the pizza in New Jersey can conceivably make an authentic, New York style pizza. But such an assertion, some would say, is just plain cheek.)